It's Tuesday Morning, I'm eating a cabbage salad with Agave Mustard dressing. Mariah "Wants to know what love is" in the backround.
What is love? Love is looking in the mirror everyday and seeing that person who has brought you to this point, That brought you through the pain and the heart ache, That kept you alive no matter how down you felt and you smile because your alive for another day. And no matter what, you have another chance to do anything you want anyway you want. Kay I'm sick of this song now.
As a single gay man in NYC I use to go out at least three times a week searching for some one to take home conquer. This hunt was exhilarating. Then came online hook up sights, which carried new easy access along with many health and safety dangers. I just read an article about a Guy who hooked up with people on Craigslist and another gay male hook up sight and would pretend to be a cop and make his hook ups go to ATM's and give him hundreds of dollars in exchange for not arresting them. That's sad and funny too.
In the past couple of months hooking up randomly hasn't worked that well for me, unless it was with some one I knew. I don't know if this is an age thing or the fact that I am no longer looking for validation through sex or searching for myself outside of myself.
What's my point? I want to force myself to go out and meet people. Not just for sex, but to make acquaintances. My friends have been doing their best to get me out this week. I think it's time to say yes again.
I may be afraid of rejection though I'm not sure if that's keeping me inside everynight. I want to be able to let my self have funny but I am constantly on guard for the drug addicts and cum dumpsters (syphilis inhabitants) I think these are my two biggest fears. Another one may be that in my 20's I had more money and a better wardrobe. Now I own two pairs of jeans and some shirts. Any one giving away any clothers?
No comments:
Post a Comment