SCARY!!!!!

As this long Halloween weekend approaches I sit hear thinking of things that I'm scared of like stepping in

poop

when it is raining outside and not noticing until I"m with a large group of people.

But other things came to mind.

It scares me to live in a world that is so sick with greed and selfishness and hate that we are lied to as young kids as if it were to protect us.

It scares me to know that there is some kid out their being bullied by a future self identifying homosexual because of both were taught to hate themselves

It scares me to know that China owns most of the world including the country we live in.

(Where do you thing we get the money from to have a Trillion Dollar Debt)

It scares me when I hear people complain about paying taxes and at the same time complain about roads, and services, and unemployment checks running out and the lack of funding for education yet they want the money to come from thin air.

Who Pays For IT?

Obama is starting to scare me a little but The Power hungry wanna be Kandidate Kings Krapublicans

and the Tea party is NOT THE WAY to go!!



It scares me that I may never find a woman who is willing to go through life with me fathering her child.

It scares me that I forget that I'm HIV positive and there are young kids as young as 13 year old and younger who right at this moment are having unprotected sex with some one who is positive.


But all this is what drives me to live and do everything I can to make my world and the world of those I love (especially those who read this blog).

In other news, I have yet to be invited to a Halloween party???????

Election Selection & The KKKrazy's

I woke up this morning to news of the KKKrazy's (Tea Party Supporters) were caught on tape at a rally beating up a girl who was an Obama Supporter.

AND
Nevada Republi(K)an (K)andidate Sharon Angle's new add. showing how we we have to protect our white kids against the big bad scary Spanish speaking Mexicans. (with pictures not with words)

You might say,

"What's this world coming to?"

Well, honey if you think this is a new thing you must be living in a bubble.

First. The Fighting, CNN articles on the even call it "Voter Passion",

I call it UN-educated Insanity!

I believe when we let states set education standards and the states in the middle move more and more away from science and math and art and language and geography and ....

And move towards Christian Sunday School classes and moral based lessons we are breading the Tea Party future members who are afraid to live with darker collections and aren't educated to know that the land they live on was taken at gunpoint from the Fore-Fathers of the Spanish speaking mostly American Citizens they fight so hard to devalue, discriminate and disenfranchise.

It is our fault that we believe that just because we don't hear about cross burnings and hatred that it ended with the death of Dr. Martin Luther King.

It is our fault for letting our Gov't be run by Haliburton Executives, and then complain that we have no jobs, (if you worked for those rapist you'd be in the money(wikipedia KBR))

It is our fault for letting our Gov't spend Billions on wars that keep us poor and Dick Cheney rich,

Instead of putting billions of dollars into educations so that we have soldiers who know not just how to shoot a gun but who develop the skills and knowledge to know when to shoot and how much restraint to use when the do, and are educated enough to know how to negotiate and compromise before getting in to the

"Who's Dick is bigger contest"
or WAR,

I haven't even decided if I'm voting yet, though I tell my self it is my duty to practice what I preach.

I think we must ask ourselves what kind of future do we want for our selves and our children and how can we best effect change?

The system may be decades from change, but Hey their is a black First lady any thing can happen.

Purple Against Homophobia WED OCT.20

"October 20th, 2010, people across the world will wear purple in honorof the 6 gay boys who committed suicide in recent weeks due to homophobic abuse. Please know that times will get better and that you will meet people who will love you for who you are, no matter your sexuality. RIP Tyler Clementi, Seth Walsh, Justin Aaberg, Raymond Chase,Asher Brown and Billy Lucas. "

(Daniel Juva, Scott Rowan)

"The event is now extending to 4 other lesbian/gay teenagers, Zach Harrington, Eric Mohat, Meredith Rezak, and Jennifer Eyring."

Gather anything purple on October 20th and wear it for the day. It doesn't matter where you live. Any walk of life is welcome to join in this movement. It doesn't matter what faith, homeland, ethnicity you are from. It is a day to unite.

(the words are from Nolen Ramirez)

invite people to the event, spread the word.

"DADT" If you ASK me I'ma Tell you

I'm struggling with this a little

I think we should stop women from serving in the army it happen way to fast! And this whole thing with whites serving with blacks, I mean come on we need to think about this.

What would happen if two humans work side by side fighting for the same cause?

well if one has a tan and one doesn't well they might Com bust!

My LGBT sisters and brothers are up in arms over the decision of the Obama administration to appeal Judge Phillips ruling to essentially "kill" "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" because of its violation of our first amendment rights.

And in this case the President is not legally obligated to appeal but is given 60 days to make a decision, and in fact Mr. Obama has decided to appeal saying, it was his duty as President to challenge any rulling that goes against congress.

Most of my thinking sides with this:

REALLY????!!!!

Hey Barack!


WHAT THE FUCK

You say you want something then you get it now you don't "really" want it anymore

DADT is a bullshit policy that promotes hate, bullying and HELLO Suicide ect..

Come one will the world explode if people find out that the person they've become friends with and trust with their life has a life out side of their job to defend the country that happens to include same sex love?

(STAY WITH ME)

IF you want to do it slowly why don't we just segregate the races and the sexes and take a year of survey to find out how to desegregate and integrate them together in the safest way to bring them together

WOULD THIS BE THE EXACT SAME THING!

As I think more an more about the administrations reason for wanting the congress to repeal DADT, I tell myself that they are coming from a place of

HARM REDUCTION.

Think about how hard it was to come out of the closet or for your friends to tell you about the secret (for those who had one) they've been carrying around for years.

Think about Milk, a movie where some one who couldn't accept his sexuality shot and killed some one who lived their life openly.

would it not make sense to enforce harm reduction policy and tutorials to the Armed Forces so the persons who are carrying guns and have issues with finding out that their fellow soldier is gay don't go on a shooting spree.

I mean they are fighting for a country that actively facilitates Hate.

My personal opinion has changed back and forth through out typing this article, but I think when it come right down to it (This Article)

Squash DADT and teach Harm reduction! Policy is just words on paper but Change comes from Action !

I leave you with this. Tolerance

In general usage, tolerance is a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward those whose beliefs or personal characteristics (race, religion, nationality, etc.), differ from one's own.

In social, cultural and religious contexts, tolerance and toleration are terms used to describe attitudes which are "tolerant" (or moderately respectful) of practices or group memberships that may be disapproved of by those in the majority.

I don't need your permissive attitude I need you to love.

Alleviate Hate!

Nigger/Faggot

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me!

Here is one of the first lies we are taught as children to shield us from "Inevitable" pains of life.

The Truth will set you free.

A family member of mine was in disbelief that she was called the "N" word and then asked what era do we live in.

My Aunt Betty taught me that just because it's not said to your face, that doesn't mean it's not being said.

This Fall seems to be the season where hate is coming to another head in our country, with the highly everyday occurrences that

I as a "gay" "black"

man see every day. with the highly publicity of gay bashing and bullying and the

KKKandidates

of the tea party and the disrespect that is well apparent to me towards our President towards our countries foundation of freedom of religion, I would hope that those who want change will actively pursue it, as did the Generations before us!

Freedom till death do we two part!

But what of these words, Nigga, Fagot?

I grew up hearing the pain of the life in the 60's from my 90 year old Great Grand Mother and my Grandmother and her siblings who Marched on Washington for Jobs and Equality.

I see how the Generations after me took ownership of the word Nigga and use it in their culture (many "race"'s I've heard use it as a term of endearment).

But tell this to my Nana and she'd turn in her grave if she hasn't already one hundred times over. To her it was like being whipped with chains all over again! I am sensitive to this.

At the age of 15 I was exposed to ACT UP, (dot org) and I heard our "LGBT" family own and use the word faggot in the same way! Most members of the group, my roomate included went even had the word tatood on thier body's.

As a strong believer that

Secrets=Death,

I feel that trying to put a word in the closet is just

living in the lies,

and secrets that drive our world into

underage prostitution,

child molestation,

and denial.

All of these things are diseases that the world refuses to talk about.

Oprah talked about molestatin and other taboo's in the 80's but how much did that week change how we live life today. Mothers continue to let boyfriends they've known for less than a year watch their children with complete trust (yes not every ones a child predator but how do you think child predators get child access moms? Boyfriends are not Babysitter!!!) I digress?

The Point? Taboo subjects live and grow cancerous especially when we keep them in the dark.

I believe as long as we continue to not scold every one who uses any form of the "N" word, (Negro is it's root word) The blacks, the whites the reds and the browns, and are highly ignored yellows (mmhhmm) people for using the word when they are with in hearing distance we have no right to scold anyone for using it, especially if we have used it ourselves jokingly (in the private of our own home/friends). (or in our blogs to get a point accross that migh be missed)

Bottom line is we have no control how these words have grown and will evolve in our society, and honestly

it's not the words that hurt us

it is the unwillingness to DO(an ACTIVE word) something to change the intent behind these words!

this Nigga/faggot is out!

GAY BASHING!!!! It happens every day!

This seems to be the year of the Gay Bashing Revolt. From the government's Don't Ask Don't Tell, to Gay Teen Bullies pushing our young ones to end their lives.

This week in NYC, we've been waking up everyday to news stories of severe Gay Bashing. Cowardly acts committed most likely by closeted (practicing) homosexuals.

I do think it is a good thing that the spotlight is lit on the struggles of the Gay community and I hope that we can emphasize,

Pushing for Equality for All human beings!

Not limited Period!

That means the Mexican immigrants who were here before we robbed Mexico of their land to form the western states who are persecuted and looked down on by a government of a whole state deserve all the rights as the unwilling uneducated racist people who created discriminatory laws.

That means Transgendered and persons struggling with gender Identity are people/human born with the same rights and liberties as all female and males on this earth

(most stronger and more deserving than most of us could ever be)

That means that black men Are GAY

Church Ladies: Lord Have Mercy

(BLACK CHURCH)
but that's another blog entery.

Black Men Are Gay , not all of them but ALL OF THEM deserve to be shown (Employers, Arizona and all you white men who say, "Shareef our company could use a guy like you" and then never call back when you get my resume) the same rights and liberties as every one else.

Fighting for Civil Rights did not die with MLK people!

THIS IS A CALL TO ACTION!

We MUST put our money where are mouth is!
walk the walk!

I suggest donating to a gay youth group in the name of a family member or a friend as a Holiday Gift this year, sending $100 or more the struggling organizations who tackles these issues everyday when the news is focused on something else and we are battling our own struggles in life so that they can continue to fight for our right to be able to live our lives.

Some off the top of my head

The Attic Youth Center in Philadelphia Atticyouthcenter.org

The LGBT Community Center in New York City (Lesbian,Gay,Bi-sexual,Transgendered) Gaycenter.org

Gladys Production the theater company I work for who's goal is to promote equality for all through its productions about Gay teen Suicide, and loving ones self. Gladysproduction.webs.com

Glsen- Gay,Lesbian and Straigh Education Network Glsen.org


Any amount of money from one dollar or more would help these organizations, educated those that were raised to hate, and those that are just ill informed.

If you can volunteer that's great too, talk about at your next dinner party or family function the issues that have affected every family in NYC, let your gay nephew, niece, ect. know how much they are loved because they are loved for the indevidual that thay are.

This year a $100 donation to your local Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, Transgender youth organization will go do more good than spending one day a year on a holiday at the over staffed soup kitchen. (But Id suggest doing both and doing both often like commiting to $10 a month for a year.)

THE WORLD CANT CHANGE UNLESS WE DO SOMETHING TO CHANGE IT

This week would be an awsome time for all of us to show our support for

"All persons are created equal"

by wearing a pin for Comming OUT Day, Sunday October 10th
That Says

I"M GAY

(al la I'm Micheal Jordan 2005)

Your love can make it better

It's been a hard week!
Yes it has, from flashbacks of feeling worthless and alone, to friends of mine who took their own life.

I'm listening to Pandora and as I typed the last sentence and a tear is rolling down my face and Erika Badu is saying "Your love can make it better" over and over, and I hear my Nana in my head saying "God works in mysterious ways" and I smile cause I know that those people that we have lost in our lives, did not die in vain. They live in our fight for change!

The live in the hearts of every one.

Your love can make it better!
Wow, my love for myself, your love for yourself, your love for others.

Tonight I'll be heading down to Washington Square park 9pm NYC for a "Glow light Vigil" ( no candle burning aloud) Hosted by the NYU LGBT group.

I ask you two things:
1. Love

2. At 9pm, if you are not capable to donate

http://afsp.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.participant&eventID=1062&participantID=118600

or come to the park tonight, then at 9pm light a candle, say a prayer, have a moment of silence for those who have moved on and those who we have yet to reach out too.

The Social Network

As a writer, I was cumming in my pants. Go see it.

the end!~