http://www.memagonline.com/

http://www.memagonline.com/

Feb 1st Black History Month

It's that time again. To take the next 29 days and watch McDonald's gospel commercials. To see all of primetime pretend that the three show arch of the "Black" lawyer shows that they have diversity. and for more photos that help us to laugh when hopefully we can at the same time acknowledge the places we have been as a country regarding race, and the hurdles we wish to over come!

"Go The Fuck Back to The Middle East" Hate Crime?

Last week I woke up early last week to take a nice long walk before heading to work. As soon as I stepped out on the street I hear this women yelling,


"Go The Fuck Back To The Middle East You Mutha Fucker!!",


over and over and over and over and over again.


It was almost like she had the hate speech form of Tourettes.


Every time she yelled I felt like I was being shot in the back. I was standing on the same block that I spent September 12th, 2001 through the 17th with friends. Some of them muslim, me including, consoling each other and lifting our spirits. 


I couldn't see who she was screaming at till I turned the corner and saw a dog walker. walking about 10 dogs and he could have been Dominican, Indian, America, Canadian, I thing you get the point.


I know that as they say in "Avenue Q",


"We're all a little bit racist"!


But GD woman you are so in the wrong!


Part of me wanted to fight fire with fire and beat her down with my umbrella yelling,


"Bitch go back to the uneducated rock your crawlled out from under and stick a (*&$(*) in it!"


But as we New Yorkers tend to do in these situations I, Holding my composure trying not to whip her ass, I walked by and minded my own business.


It's becoming more and more difficult for me to walk by such hate with out getting involved. I mean if she were yelling Gay hate speech at a child I think I couldn't stop my self from getting involved but is this any different?


Looking back, maybe calling the police would have been the best thing. I don't know if yelling racist slurs is a crime, (freedom of speech) but, it seemed like she was disrespecting the person she was screaming at, me, the dogs, the human race and herself.


I feel ill just remembering this low point in my life experience.


What would you have done? 

"Go The Fuck Back to The Middle East" Hate Crime?

Last week I woke up early last week to take a nice long walk before heading to work. As soon as I stepped out on the street I hear this women yelling,


"Go The Fuck Back To The Middle East You Mutha Fucker!!",


over and over and over and over and over again.


It was almost like she had the hate speech form of Tourettes.


Every time she yelled I felt like I was being shot in the back. I was standing on the same block that I spent September 12th, 2001 through the 17th with friends. Some of them muslim, me including, consoling each other and lifting our spirits. 


I couldn't see who she was screaming at till I turned the corner and saw a dog walker. walking about 10 dogs and he could have been Dominican, Indian, America, Canadian, I thing you get the point.


I know that as they say in "Avenue Q",


"We're all a little bit racist"!


But GD woman you are so in the wrong!


Part of me wanted to fight fire with fire and beat her down with my umbrella yelling,


"Bitch go back to the uneducated rock your crawlled out from under and stick a (*&$(*) in it!"


But as we New Yorkers tend to do in these situations I, Holding my composure trying not to whip her ass, I walked by and minded my own business.


It's becoming more and more difficult for me to walk by such hate with out getting involved. I mean if she were yelling Gay hate speech at a child I think I couldn't stop my self from getting involved but is this any different?


Looking back, maybe calling the police would have been the best thing. I don't know if yelling racist slurs is a crime, (freedom of speech) but, it seemed like she was disrespecting the person she was screaming at, me, the dogs, the human race and herself.


I feel ill just remembering this low point in my life experience.


What would you have done? 

Rick Santorum Interviews With CaffeinatedThoughts.com

Shoot em' Up Bang Bang

It's becoming more and more clear to me that I live and always have lived in a dangerous world. People with in a block of where I lay my head down are being killed every night.

For the past month I've heard gunfights starting at 3am, going off and on till 4am, no cops, no news articles the next day, no break in this new alarming alarm system.

I've been staying in the Bronx, a place that seems to have a reputation of danger, gang violence, and over population. But I've lived in three separate parts of the Bronx, and two of these places I've never seen cops. It almost seems as if some one came into the Bronx with a boat load of guns and semi-automatics and said, "Here Have fun"!

Now if I just didn't experience a gun fight in Brooklyn near Prospect Park/Lefforts Garden, I'd think this was just a Bronx thing.

Crime is New York is up 17% from last year. Every weekend a "reported" 20 people have been shot and killed in the past month. "Reported" means they made the news, they were in neighborhoods, like the West Village, Chelsea, Harlem, Downtown Brooklyn, middle class Queens neighborhoods, or that they happen to an upper middle class family or were caused by a drunk or out of line policeman.

But what about the shootings we don't hear about. I mean as I sit here typing this article bullets are flying not two blocks away and this has been every night, but I have yet to hear it in the news. I have yet to hear Police Cars speeding in to save the day.

So how do we fix this?

Do we even care to?

If you think this doesn't effect you, think about this.....

 As this country looses more jobs, and the poor get poorer, and the middle class become homeless

more women get rapped,

more stores get robbed,

more children have nothing to do,

more shootings at night,

and if you think its just going to stay in one neighborhood ....

Your in for a rude awakening!

Life or Death?

All summer long I was fighting off an illness, that if left untreated would have drastically shortened my life. I was on a strick painfull, anemic causing treatment, that had me in a bed, in a room, alone, for three months straight. During this time besides watching ten seasons of Dallas and the whole series' of Stargate SG1, and Universe, I often spent the day staring at the wall and lots of vomiting.

I also came to the conclusion after the first 30 days that I couldn't take it any more and I knew I had to press on. My doctor warned me that the affects from this treatment have caused such depression in his patients that some have committed suicide or at least attempted too.

"I could never be one of those people", or so I thought.

After the first 30 days I understood exactly what he meant. Being alone in the same room for more than 7 days for me feels like a jail cell. So after 30 days in the same room and being to weak to go anywhere I was beyond cabin fever.

I started to believe that this weakness, that the pain I had to go through, that the poison I had to put in my body, would never end. Think about chemotherapy. If you ever had to watch some one fight for their life, their need to live, fight to come back from a place that is dark and lonely and close to the end, than you may have a glimpse of what I'm describing.

Hopelessness was setting in and I was holding on to one thought, "I know that I have felt that my best life is better than this, and even though I don't feel it now, I know it is possible"

It's fall now and the treatment is over.

I'm 100% cured even after stopping the treatment 3 months early because I just couldn't live a life where the only voice besides mine came from the flat screen.

I couldn't live a life of throwing up constantly even though I haven't eaten all day.

I couldn't live anymore with thoughts of hopelessness, with thoughts of suicide lingering about.

I'm cured, I'm alive and I do thank God and appreciate my life, but this appreciation didn't come so easily. Even though I've been off treatment for almost two months, there have been lingering side affects. The depression is not as bad as it was but I'm no where near as that zest for life for what the future holds as I use to be.

I must admit everyday I find that I'm more grateful than the last.

But it took an event to jolt me back into the realization that life is worth living.

I spent the night with my best friend and her son, whom I lived with for the first 5 years of his life, (hes now 10) and around 3am, Gunshots!

I woke up thinking it was a dream, but the loud POP and POWs were not stopping at all, in fact, the noise was getting louder and louder, closer and closer, we all huddled together on the floor incase any bullets came through the window and then the noise just stopped, but the silence was deafening.

I was in complete shock, I mean living in the bronx for years I've heard a gun go off once or twice, but it never sounded as if it was happening less than 100 feet from where I was sleeping, and this sounded even closer than that.

After about 10 minutes we were still on the floor and just as we were about to get up we heard about ten minutes of none stop shooting, bullets hitting brick, louder and louder as the the shooting went on.

Ten minutes is more than enough time in this situation to realize how valuable life is, even if its as "Dramatic" as my ex would say, as mine. (If I didn't live it, I wouldn't believe it lol)

It took seconds for me to know that even if I don't feel that drive for life, there could be no gift as precious as life.

I was with the closest people in my life in New York, and I prayed that we get through this, and that I want to live, and deal with the fact that it was a hard year, and deal with the feelings that may not be any where close to joy, but as Ms. Jackson if your nasty says,

"Sometimes, you have to experience the pain to get to the joy"

And so I sit here today, healthy, alive, and ready to keep on keepen on!,

Appreciating the gift of life, appreciating my friends and family who's support has help me feel beter and better day by day. I even appreciate lesson's learned from mistakes that I've made and the things I've lost from making them, because it's all brought me to this point here,

and that is the knowledge that life may not always be a pint of Ben and Jerry's Coffee Toffe Crunch (mmmmm my favorite) but there will be many pints in my future as long as I am here to enjoy them, and if you know me you know that I love love love Ben and Jerry (a little too much)

I think I feel a smile coming on! Yep there it is!