Growing up as a "Gay Black Man in America" means that my adult hood has become my recovery. From my first memory I've had to deprogram myself from the thinking taught or absorbed from the people around me. It felt rebellious but I was compelled to rage against
the notion that "God hates Fags" (God=hate?)
that All children were molested and that's the way it will always be, (watch Oprah)(Things must change)
that families should keep secrets, (Secrets are lies that lead to death of ones soul)
that college is a necessity, (Library is free)
that Love is all you need, (and some Sense)
that parents should be listened to always (They rarely know what their doing)
In my journey I remember being in horrible situations or witnessing people including myself hurt others in the most devious ways and I would look up to the sky and around at mother nature and ask "Is this what life is about? Pain?"
The next step for me was to numb that pain with drugs. From ecstasy to cocaine, to crystal-meth.
And so I live my life in Recovery. Today it's been 6 months of sobriety. As I attempt to celebrate I feel the pain of my brothers and sisters in this human race who are suffering. I understand that the best thing I can do for them is to take care of myself. To actively show myself that I love myself.
It's funny that after reminding myself that I must be active about my love, a weight just lifted from my heart.
I am on a journey in this life of Recovery to be better, to live better, and to do better. And so I begin my day on this my 6th month mark living my life to the fullest. Being completely open to the universe and all that it has allowed me to be.
Love & Peace
To
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