Is withholding information that is not known about or ever asked for Lying? Even if you feel ashamed about what your keeping from the other person?
I was discussing with a friend of mine this question as it applies to "More than Friends" relationships. My friend believes that with holding information is not lying and I use to agree until I read the book, The Vevet Rage by Alan Downs PhD.
Information withheld is a lie, a secret is a lie. Actively taking time to not give information is working towards negativity. And this negativity will fester and grow and poison your relationship.
I have many secrets, things I have not told my partner. I think about them everyday. Some things we have discussed are ok not to talk about, like the sex we have with other people. But if he' asks I have always told the truth.
The subject of "Truth" is a big one for me. When thinking about starting a blog I thought most about my immediate friends and family and if my writing about my feelings that may have been set off from my relationships will upset them or harm them in anyway. My therapist says if it's helping me that's what I should consider first.
And I believe if it helps me than I should continue to blog with the honesty of the moment I'm typing. Letting you know that tomorrow after much thought and after getting it out to you. I may change my mind about things. I may have a revelation that makes me see my errors in judgment or my simple truths. I may be having a shared experience with some one else in the world who am letting know, you are not the only one. I may have just discovered my goal in that last sentence, my truth.
And yes I do feel a little bit freer
Peace & Love
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