Tuesday, November 9, 2010

When your child doesn't want to (BLANK) Anymore! AGAIN! or Discipline

I was recently having a conversation with a mother about her son's seventh or eighth activity that he is getting tired of doing because it's become less fun and more work. Her son is no interested in something new that he hasn't tried yet.

This reminded me of an episode of the Cosby Show where Vanessa wanted to play an instrument after Clair and Heathcliff spent time and money on

Dance lessons and she quit

Guitar lessons and she quit

clarinet lessons and she quit

in the end they told her this was the last time she would have to practice and be disciplined

During this conversation we both agreed that it is good to foster a kids curiosities while they try and learn and decide what best fits them, but after our conversation I wondered:

Isn't discipline trying something and seeing it through?

Should discipline be taught and where do we learn it from?

The willingness for parents to foster a child's flakiness speaks to the way the parents were raised.

But rarely do I perceive Parents asking themselves:

Do I want a child to learn how to have a goal and do what it takes to make that Goal come true?

Or

Do I want a child that grows up like me and dares to dream at a young age yet is never taught or shown or given the skills to make that dream come true?

I here the parents around me wanting to have birthed the next Micheal Jordan, or Mos Def, or Muckuly Culkan, or Serena Williams, or Bill Gates even but with out realizing that they had parents who held them up when they felt like quitting and reminded them of their strengths in their fields when they wanted to give up.

Are you willing to settle for a child who grows up and lives the "Coulda Woulda Shoulda life" or that learns early in life:

Strong work ethic

Punctuality

Thank you letters

Discipline?


just something to think about when your throwing out the soccer ball that hasn't been kicked in two years, or the Karate outfit that cant be passed down or the trombone that has become a coat hanger.

Love ya much

1 comment:

  1. good questions... I think a year of specific activity warrants a try... especially when you have a limited budget for extracurricular activity... let the kids try on as many hats as possible... within boundaries!... outright quitting is not an option... my son has taken art classes for 3 years... not always something that he wants to do but I know he is an artist and so I make him stick with it... soccer has been 2 years... he doesnt always want to go but team sports are important... so we keep on going... as he gets older though sports get more competitive and I think its important to find a team sport that fits the child...he will start basketball in the winter and try it on for size... as far as karate... its expensive...meant for focus and self discipline... cant afford karate and piano... he really loves piano... what to do?

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